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esteemless with every one of my steps
there is dark
where I walk.
Though I follow my hands
Though I follow my swords
Until one day there was a wall.
which looked very ordinary
with orange bricks and vomit-white cement in betwen.
I looked down and I saw me.
I looked down and I knew me.
My fingers won't fit inside
I have messed them up with me
so they slip on wet parts of my food
calories and vitamines
fingernails chip
I had to sit down to see the wall.
I had to sit down to see my wall.
The wall keeps growing
so I rather throw myself in anyway
before I can make a decision
I looked down from the wall
I looked down, down, down.
sweeping brooms keep trying to sweep me off
and we've run out of money.
I saw me looking up from the well
I saw me looking at me from deep deep deep down,
Laughing at all of them.
I could see them for just a minute
before I started slipping down again.

with every one of my steps
there is dark
where I walk.
Though I follow my hands
Though I follow my swords
I am inside their cellar, I realised
just now, when it is too late.
There are lots of rooms all around.
I can still see my thin punctured body
I can still see my thin soldier's body
I used to be scared of things like this
I used to fight and obey
but when everything crashes,
and falls down the redbrick wall of the well,
and the cellars and thousand rooms that I see passing up near me,
-I can't obey.

********

I am fighting my tigerclaws
I am biting my tigerclaws
they won't let me cut them off
because they think I am an animal,
but for a few months all I saw was redbrick walls
and wells and rooms and rooms.
-dressed in white-
I am watching my thin body turn,
I am watching my thin body slowly
So will they some day.

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